collaboration station

Collaboration in Children’s Well-Being Classes

How safety, choice, and structure help children work together well

Collaboration is something I’m often asked about when people observe my classes.
Last week, a teacher passing through the hall through one of my classes, popped back at lunch and asked,
“That's a tricky bunch- how did you get them to work like that together?”

And the truth is, collaboration in my well-being sessions is never accidental. It is rooted in how children actually feel in their bodies and nervous systems.

Whether I’m teaching in schools, delivering community workshops, or training other children’s well-being practitioners, collaboration is a key feature of my sessions. Over time, I’ve realised there are five core elements that consistently support successful collaboration with children:

Safety, choice, boundaries, structure, and freedom

All held together by an umbrella principle: autonomy (if you've read or watched my stuff before, you'll know that this is a big one for me!).

I’ll share what each of these looks like in practice and why they matter so much, particularly for neurodivergent children and those who may find social situations tricky.

1. Safety comes first (always)
Before children can collaborate, they need to feel safe.
Not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically safe too.
Whenever I invite children to work with a partner or group, I always approach it through the lens of safety. If a child is unsure who to work with, I don’t ask,

“Who’s your friend?”

I ask:

“Who do you feel safe with?”

That question is really important. Many children, especially neurodivergent children, may not be clear on social labels like “friend”. Friendship can be confusing. But they usually know, very clearly, who feels safe and who doesn’t. Learning to notice that internal signal is a powerful life skill in itself.

Collaboration works best when children are practising with people who help their nervous system feel settled, not threatened.

2. Choice builds trust and autonomy
Choice is sometimes seen as controversial in group work with children.
There’s a common belief that children should simply work with whoever they’re placed with because:

• “They’ll mess around if they’re with friends”
• “In real life you don’t get to choose”
• “It’s quicker if I just pair them up”

But from both a practical and psychological point of view, choice matters.
When children have some say in who they work with:

• They feel safer
• They feel more regulated
• They feel ownership over the process

Choice doesn’t mean chaos. It means children feel respected within the system you’re holding. And when children feel respected, they’re far more likely to engage meaningfully.

3. Clear boundaries make collaboration safe
I’m very explicit about what is and isn’t acceptable when children collaborate in my sessions. If children choose to work with a friend, that’s absolutely fine, as long as their behaviour stays within the agreed boundaries of the lesson.
This includes:

• Behavioural expectations
• Physical safety
• Respect for others
• Consent

Consent is especially important in well-being and movement-based sessions. If children are working together in a pose or activity that involves touch, both children must be comfortable with it. We talk openly about asking, listening, and respecting a “no”.
I have found that boundaries make collaboration possible.

4. Structure gives children clarity
Whenever children work together in my classes, there is always a clear structure.
Children need to know:

• What they’re doing
• How long they’re doing it for
• What the task involves

I often think of structure as a container. Inside that container, children can explore, create, and collaborate freely, but the container itself keeps everything steady.
For example, I might say:

• Choose two poses
• You have five minutes
• Focus on the transition between them

That clarity reduces uncertainty, which in turn reduces dysregulation.

5. Freedom allows creativity and engagement
Within that clear structure, children have a lot of freedom.
They can:

• Choose which poses to use
• Decide how they move between them
• Work together in ways that feel comfortable

Tasks are intentionally open-ended. This invites imagination, creativity, and problem-solving, all while staying within safe and predictable boundaries.
I support children with visual pose banks matched to their developmental stage. These give just enough scaffolding without limiting choice. These pose banks are a core part of The Well-Being Adventurers Toolkit provided as part of The Well-Being Journey training.

What collaboration looks like in practice
In my sessions:

• Children choose who they collaborate with
• They can move around the room and change mats if needed
• Group sizes are flexible

I no longer insist on fixed numbers like pairs or groups of three. I used to do that, but I realised that the rigidity of it wasn’t serving the children, it was just habit.
What matters more to me is that children are:

• Comfortable
• Participating
• Engaged
• Developing their skills

Sometimes that looks like pairs. Sometimes it’s a group of five. I simply call it collaboration.

If children are not following expectations, I’m clear and calm about stepping in and separating them. That consistency helps everyone feel safe.

Novelty keeps brains engaged
While repetition is important for learning, our brains are also wired for novelty.
I often add small changes to collaborative tasks:

• A different challenge
• New poses
• A prop
• An extra layer of difficulty

Even if the structure stays the same, that element of novelty helps the activity feel fresh and engaging, rather than repetitive.

What doesn’t change is my expectation. Children know what collaboration looks like in my classes, and that predictability supports calm.

“But children need to learn to work with everyone…”

This is something I hear often, and yes, there’s truth in it.
However, children are not adults.
They learn collaboration skills by practising them first in safe spaces with safe people. That’s how confidence and competence develop.

Learning who feels safe and who doesn’t is a vital protective skill. One that may genuinely keep a child safe later in life.

That said, there are times in my lessons where children work with someone they haven’t chosen. When I do this:

• The task is very clear
• The time is short (one or two minutes)
• The expectations are explicit

Final thoughts

When collaboration is built on safety, choice, boundaries, structure, and freedom, children don’t just “work together”, they learn how to navigate relationships, listen to their bodies, and regulate themselves in shared spaces.

If you struggle with managing group work or behaviour in your classes, you may find my self-paced course Tame the Crowd Without Being Loud helpful. It’s designed to support calm, connected, and well-held sessions without raising your voice.

You’re also very welcome to book a mentoring session with me if this is something you’d like more support with, I'm currently running a special offer of just £97 (usually £200) for an hour meeting.

And I’d genuinely love to hear your thoughts.
What do you agree with?
What feels challenging?
How do you support collaboration in your own classes?