Help, I have the Bad behaviour Blues...

Managing Behaviour Effectively in a Kids Yoga Class

Watch the video of this blog here

One question that I get asked time and time again by the yoga teachers who I support and mentor, is how do I manage kids behaviour without losing the yoga vibe.

Unfortunately, many (although not all) education settings use shame based behaviour management techniques. As a teacher myself, I have in the past used these too – sometimes we can feel restricted by the environment and systems that we are in.

Shame based behaviour techniques (such as shouting, or behaviour charts) are effective at controlling children. That is why they are so prolific in education settings, activities and clubs and also many homes too.

Many yoga teachers know that these methods of shouting, guilting and manipulating are not in alignment with the yoga way of life.  This means that kids yoga teachers often feel a mismatch between how they are operating in their classes with kids and also how they WANT to show up in the world and relate to children.

So what to do?

This is something that I struggled with myself, as I made the transition from primary class teacher to kids yoga teacher.  Almost 7 years into my yoga teaching journey, I’ve had a think about what key aspects are most valuable to me in ‘managing behaviour’ and I thought I’d share them with you.

What’s in a name?
This is a very personal choice, but my preference is to be called by my first name in yoga classes. The old teacher persona of being ‘Mrs Hankins’ was difficult to let go of but I knew that I wanted a different way of relating in my yoga classes. Some of the schools that I worked in were not very happy about this, arguing that if I am called ‘Julia’ by the children then they won’t respect me. In fact, I have experienced the exact opposite. Using my first name is just one of the things that I do that makes the children relate to me even more, because they know my ‘real name’.  It fosters trust and familiarity and I believe it helps me to connect better to who I am at core rather than a role that I am playing. This means that I am less likely to slip into habits of guilting and shaming children into behaving.
Ultimately, it is really important that you feel comfortable with the name that you are being called in your classes. For me this is my first name, for you this might be something else, either way, just check that you feel the best version of you with the name you have chosen.
It is also really important to me that I use the children's names. I encourage them to correct me if I mispronounce or make a mistake. It is vital to me that the children who I work with feel 'seen' as individuals and using their name is a crucial part of this.
 
Rules, rules, rules!
I am a bit anti- authority, perhaps this is due to my neurodiversity, so I find it funny how important rules are to me and how big a part of my lessons they are!
For me though, the rules that I have come from a place of wanting the children in my care to feel safe. Safety is one of my core values and I want the kids in my yoga class to know that they will be kept safe. Reminding them of the rules at the start of each lesson, and any time that they need reinforcing, is a powerful way of stating my commitment to their safety.
Having rules that are simple predictable, and easy to understand helps children to know what is expected of them. When children know what is expected of them, they are more able to succeed, they can relax within the walls that the rules provide.
I recommend only having a very small number of rules and keeping them easy to remember – I only have three. This way, I can refer to them very easily. If you would like a free guide and poster of my rules, you can download them here.
If you teach young children, or those with language barriers of some sort, it is ideal to have a visual representation of them, to make it more accessible.
 
It’s all relative
When I was a teacher, I was once told by an executive head “Julia, your relationship with the children is wonderful, but it’s not about that!”
She was wrong. I knew it instinctively at the time and now, with a Master of Science in Mental Health and Well-Being in Education behind me, I know that research backs me up.
It is ALL about the relationship. When you have a meaningful relationship with the children that you teach, they are more able to learn and they will respect you so much more that behaviour will be much less of an issue.
 
Be curious
If we treat children’s behaviour like a problem to be solved, that’s where it will remain, as a problem!
Seeing things from the perspective of the child is really important. If there’s something going on with a particular child (or group of children), investigate more and find out what is going on that is leading to that behaviour. This might mean talking to the child individually (obviously not in front of the others) or talking to their teachers or adults, to get more information so you can understand them better.
 
Remember that kids are kids!
Sometimes it is really easy to forget that children are not adults! They are only capable of what their nervous system and brain development allows them to do. This means that they will act like kids!
Sometimes it’s exhausting, frustrating, annoying! Sometimes they do things you wish they wouldn’t and sometimes they don’t listen, but they are only doing what they can in the situation that they are in.
Learning more about children from a (simple) neurological perspective can really help you here. This is covered in the training ‘Tame the Crowd Without Being Loud!’, you can find that training here if this is something that you would like to know more about.
 
Accentuate the positive
Sometimes, we can get so caught up in seeing the children NOT doing as we asked, but there will always be those who are. You know that phrase “look for the helpers”? This works in your yoga class too. If you are feeling frustrated or like no one is listening, look for the helpers! The ones that ARE listening or doing as you asked and them thank them personally! Find three children who are doing as you asked and thank them. This will help you feel calm and in control and also it will remind the others what it is you have asked them to do.

So these are just some ideas about my approach to behaviour management in my kids yoga lessons. I would love to know if any of this resonates with you. Are there any things I’ve mentioned that you agree or disagree with? What is your approach? Is there anything that I haven’t mentioned that you think is important?

If you would like more support with managing the behaviour in your yoga class, you may find these resources helpful:

• 'Get real with rules' free guide and poster
• ‘Tame the Crowd without being Loud’ one hour training
• ‘Behaviour Boost’ individual consultation, email me to arrange this.
  
• Kids Yoga Teacher Mentor Package
  

I hope that you found this interesting/ helpful, get in touch if you have any questions or would like to work with me.
X Julia