it doesn't align!

What to Do When Someone You’re Working With Doesn’t Align With Your Core Values

Welcome to the third video in my series all about core values in your business.

In the first video, we explored what core values are and why they’re important. In the second, I shared how to create your own core values. In this third part, I want to talk about what to do if you’re working with someone whose actions don’t align with your values.

This can feel tricky, especially as small business owners. Often, we want to help everyone, share our knowledge widely, or accept work because it pays the bills. But it can become problematic when you’re collaborating with a person, organisation, or setting that doesn’t reflect the values that are central to your work.
Here are some practical ways to manage this situation:

1. Make Your Expectations Clear
One of the most important things you can do is communicate your expectations clearly from the start.
When I work with a new setting—whether that’s a school, nursery, or adult workshop—I share a Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) sheet. This is about practical details such as “What should I wear?” or “What is this session about?” but, crucially, it also includes what I expect from participants and staff.
This is really helpful because sometimes misunderstandings arise simply because the other adults don’t know what your boundaries are. Examples include:

• Adults talking while you’re leading a session
• Moving or handling children in ways you’d prefer they didn’t
• Shouting or interrupting in the session

Providing clear written guidance ensures everyone understands what’s expected and reduces misunderstandings.
If you’d like, I have a document bundle full of letters, forms, and templates that you can adapt for your own sessions, complete with tips on how to use them effectively.

2. Understand What You Can and Can’t Control
I love the concept of the Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Influence, introduced by Stephen Covey.

• Your inner circle contains what you can control—how you communicate, how you express your values, your boundaries, and how you respond.
• The outer circle contains what you cannot control—how others act with that information, whether they follow your expectations, or the choices they make.
  
  

Focusing on your circle of influence helps you stay grounded. Sometimes your values and the way you express them will ripple out and influence others positively—but other times, they won’t, and that’s okay.

3. Decide What You Can Live With
Sometimes, despite your best efforts to communicate clearly, some behaviours may continue. This is where it’s important to consider what you can tolerate.
For example, in some schools I work with regularly, staff walking through the hall while I teach isn’t ideal—but it’s something I can live with and manage. In other cases, the misalignment may be more significant and cannot be ignored.

4. It’s Okay to Walk Away
If a setting, individual, or organisation repeatedly fails to respect your values, it is entirely acceptable to stop working with them.
Whether that’s a family attending your sessions who consistently ignore your boundaries, or a school, nursery or organisation whose practices conflict with your values, you have the right to choose where you invest your time and energy. You are the owner of your business, and you get to decide who you work with.

Key Takeaways

• Communicate clearly: Provide guidance on expectations from the outset, if you aren't sure what this could look like, get my copy included in the Document Bundle.
• Focus on what you can control: Your communication, behaviour, and responses.
• Decide what’s acceptable: Consider what you can tolerate and what crosses your line.
• Choose consciously: Walking away from someone who doesn’t align with your values is okay.
  

Your business should reflect your values and the way you want to work with others. Respecting your own values ensures you can continue to provide safe, compassionate, and effective well-being sessions for the people you work with.

I hope you found this useful. I’d love to hear your thoughts—please comment below or email me at [email protected] if you have any questions or want me to cover something specific in a future video.