This week, I am thinking about love languages and how they relate to our well-being. My reason for this is that I realised today that I haven't really been paying much attention to the love languages of my family recently. For me it's a really useful thing to consider when you are having a disconnection from someone. For example, me and my husband have different ways of showing our love and sometimes I find myself irritated that he hasn't spent much time connecting with me through conversation (something that is one of MY love languages) and completely over-looking the fact that he has mended something of mine without being asked or spent time creating something for us to use as a family (which is HIS language of love). We all show our feelings in different ways and sometimes when we feel our needs aren't being met, we can make the assumption that we aren't being loved or cared for.
This happened in my home today. My 8 year old shouted "No-one even cares about ME!" This is following an argument with her sibling, I had sat down and offered her a hug to talk about it and she threw herself across the room shouting that no-one cares for her. At some point I can imagine myself being irritated by her reaction and telling her that I was there trying to give her love and she didn't want it (escalating the situation even more) BUT something in me knew that this wouldn't help. I realised that I was trying to show love through physical touch (normally something that she loves) but this just wasn't what she needed or was craving for. It turned out that she had felt that she hadn't had much quality time together today - true as I was shattered as I didn't sleep well last night and to be completely honest had been busying myself with jobs and tasks rather than connecting with anyone!
Anyway to make a LOOOONG story short(ish) we chatted and cuddled and both realised that we needed to do something together.
It made me think that this week in my home I'd like to be aware of our love languages - when we are showing love to each other. I plan to draw attention to the ways that we all show love so that we can appreciate each other a little bit more. For example, when my 5 year old walks into the bathroom- while I'm on the toilet- to give me a dandelion that he has plucked from the garden, I'll try to notice that he is giving me a gift which is an act of love and I'll TRY to receive it well; as that is also an act of love!
I hope you have a fantastic week!
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In my blog, I reflect honestly about my experiences of trying to enhance the well-being of my own children.