Please don’t do THIS in your kids yoga classes!

🎥Watch the video of this here

Behaviour strategies that I avoid in my kids yoga classes…

I had an email from Emily asking a question, thank you Emily for your email and sorry it has taken me so long to get back to it!

Emily had asked my views of using ‘behaviour buddies’ in kids yoga classes to promote positive behaviour. She had heard it recommended to use a soft toy to put on the mat of a child that behaved themselves. She had also seen a soft toy being used to ‘watch’ the children to make sure that they were behaving.

UGH!

So firstly, yuk. No. I don’t think it is ok to trick children into thinking that they are being watched by a soft toy to check that they are behaving themselves. This is similar to the use of elves who ‘report back to Santa’.  Nope. Not ok, we want children to feel safe in our classes, if they believe that they are being watched then this ruins trust and makes them fearful. The question might be in their mind of ‘what will happen if I misbehave?’ it is threatening and not fun. There will also be some children who will be curious about whether this is true, and for those children it may actually have a negative effect on their behaviour because they may be testing to see what gets ‘seen’ and what happens if they do something deemed as ‘naughty’.
 
I actually don’t ever use the word naughty in my classes anyway, because I don’t believe there is such a thing as a naughty child. There are choices that we make as humans based on our needs. Some of those choices will be ill thought out and will have negative consequences, but they are ultimately born out of a need of some sort and our job is to discover the need and support the child to make better choices.

Now for ‘behaviour buddies’ I think this very much depends on how it is used. I wouldn’t use the word ‘behaviour buddies’ ever, because this again brings the word ‘behaviour’ needlessly into our safe spaces. I also wouldn’t single out a particular child. This simply doesn’t work. It feels unfair to those who are behaving and don’t have the soft toy it makes them think ‘why not me?’ and makes them feel unseen. In our classes, we want to make each child feel like they are seen, if we haven’t given them the soft toy, they assume that they haven’t been noticed.

Secondly, most people would ensure that everyone gets a ‘go’ of the softy toy on their mat. In which case it is just kids taking their turn of the bear. This is ok if you want to do that but why dress it up as something that it isn’t kids see through it. This is the same for ‘yogi of the week’ and stickers that are only given to one child per week.

Also, it is VERY common for children who struggle to conform in group situations aka ‘misbehave’, to be rewarded in this way far more often than those who are quietly getting on with things. This can feel hugely unfair. The children who are struggling to ‘behave’ likely have a very good reason for acting the way that they do and this will likely be exacerbated by the introduction of the ‘behaviour buddy’ who they will likely want every single time they ‘behave’. I think it would end up being more of a problem than a solution.

I do use soft toys in my classes, and they can indeed have a very positive impact on behaviour, for me this loks like, each child having a (soft toy) friend to cuddle, the soft toy might tell them their name, the soft toy is going to help them in the class to balance or breath or focus or relax, and the soft toy will be there to see the amazing things that they can do. This is far more inclusive, positive and will impact behaviour positively.
 
In using stickers, I don’t single out one or two children, if one gets one, they all do. The same for certificates, I like to give these at the end of a term and write something specific for each child that is personal to them.

So in conclusion.... Our yoga classes should be places where children feel safe, seen and soothed this will help them feel secure. This is from the work of Dr Daniel Siegel.

If your are interested in learning more about positive behaviour management in your kids yoga classes, check out:
📖 this blog,
🎥this video,
🎁this free rules guide and
🧠this training

If you would like to work with me to support you with managing the behaviour in your classes (or on anything else) get in touch before June 22nd to lock in the price before it goes up.

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