Self compassion and comparative suffering!

Hey! I hope that you and your loved ones are doing well.
I'm going to share with you a Brene Brown quote because, well, I love her! And also because it has meant something to me this week and maybe it might mean something to you too during these weird times we find ourselves in;

I love the bit that says

"everytime we honor our own struggle and the struggles of others by responding with empathy, the healing that results affects us all"


It's so true! I find myself drawn into comparative suffering fairly regularly, 'Oh no, I'm Ok really, lot's of people are in a worse situation, and really I'm very lucky!'  It's true. Many people ARE in a worse situation. In the scheme of things I am lucky BUT if I ignore my own hurt or struggle then it doesn't magically disappear and it can drive a wedge between relationships. For example, if I try to be ok, but really I'm not, my ever-so perceptive children will pick up on it and wonder if they have done something wrong or worry.

This week I've been unwell, nothing serious, but at the time it felt serious and painful and scary. I was scared that I might have to go to the hospital, I was scared that something was very wrong with me. It turned out that a trip to the Drs, a course of antibiotics and all being well,  I should be back to normal in a few days (still not feeling 100% but already so much better).

Anyway, my natural response to my thought process was to feel guilt. When I realised that I didn't have to go to hospital I felt so sorry for those who are seriously ill in hospital, and their families etc. etc. I spiral! Comparing my pain to others in a more serious position doesn't help anyone. Belittling my situation, feelings, emotions doesn't either.

I'm reading a book at the moment (when I can!) called Self Compassion by Kristin Neff I'm finding it really interesting and it is definitely something I need to work on! So this week was a real practice for me. I allowed myself to rest (thankfully I was able to), I allowed myself to feel a bit glum, I was honest with my family that it hurt and I felt sad that I can't play or do things that I normally do. I tried really hard to model self compassion and allow myself my feelings, without judgement or comparison (not easy, I can tell you!). I want my children to know that their feelings are valid, so I need to show them that mine are too. If you would like weekly ideas about how to support your family's well-being please join my free facebook group.

I am really enjoying listening to Brene Brown's Podcast 'Unlocking Us' on the occasions where I get to enjoy a walk on my own. Maybe you might enjoy it too.

Warm wishes and stay safe

xxx Julia